[JPL] Another wonderful Conservative cause

Dr. Jazz drjazz at drjazz.com
Tue Sep 1 22:03:06 EDT 2009

After the "birthers" and "deathers", now we have the jazzers!

Why Does Nancy Pelosi Have a Problem With Patriotic Music?

If you've ever been stuck on hold with a congressional office in the 
past, at least you've been able to enjoy some good patriotic music, as 
opposed to the lilting tones of generic smooth jazz that have been 
driving elevator users insane for decades. For years, congressional 
offices have played patriotic anthems as the background music during 
hold times.

Not any more. After we were startled by the hold music when we called a 
House office recently, sources on Capitol Hill informed us this week 
that the Democratic House leadership has made a sweeping decision that 
congressional offices now have the options of "smooth jazz" elevator 
music or no music at all.

Michigan Republican Fred Upton sent a letter to House Chief 
Administrative Officer Daniel Beard, who reports to House Speaker Nancy 
Pelosi, this week to protest this decision:

Upon contacting CAO Telecommunications it has come to my attention that 
as of Tuesday, August 11th all "holding" music was changed at your 
request from the traditional patriotic songs to elevator music. CAO 
Telecommunications affirmed that congressional offices currently have no 
choice in the genre of music played, but merely are given the option 
between the elevator music on hold or no music at all, despite the fact 
that we've had the patriotic music for years!

According to Upton, no notification was sent to inform congressional 
offices of this change, and there was no monetary benefit to the 
taxpayers for making it. "Callers routinely express their delight in 
listening to a few notes of Americana while briefly waiting for their 
call to go through," Upton writes, adding: "We should proudly embrace 
our nation's patriotic songs, not callously shun them for elevator music."

Clearly, this is the kind of change America was craving with the 
election of such a wide Democratic majority --- out with the old musty 
tunes of patriotism, in with the jazz flute.

As for being on hold: I apologize if, during my tenure as a staffer on 
Capitol Hill, I was the one who stuck you there. But at least you can 
say that the music you heard was the sort that Americans have stood up 
and taken their hats off to over the years, as opposed to the kind 
designed to put older constituents to sleep. If the death panels won't 
do it, the congressional hold music will.

Update: That didn't take long! We've just had an update from the Hill 
that the Leadership staff ordered the CAO to make a change this morning 
as this story broke, and yank those old patriotic tunes back onto the 
hold music. Quote coming shortly.

And here it is: "Now that our patriotic tunes have mysteriously 
reappeared at lightning speed after reports this morning of the switch, 
if only Pelosi would respond in similar fashion to the majority of 
Americans who want the plug pulled on her budget busting health care and 
energy plans," says a Hill veteran. At least if you're seeking a 
response, you'll have some patriotic music to listen to while they keep 
you on hold. Chalk another one up for the blogosphere getting a response!


Dr. Jazz
Dr. Jazz Operations
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SKYPE:  drjazz99

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